how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
