dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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