Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
