Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
