I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
