my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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