whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
