just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
