it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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