It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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