I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
