is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
