dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
