Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
