if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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