my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he thought i was a dude.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize