nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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