During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
