I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
