Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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