i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize