You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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