well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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