oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
