Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
