Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
