woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
