Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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