You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
