how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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