its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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