when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
