I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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