are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
