I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
