I love black thongs
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
