I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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