sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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