She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
