Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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