the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
