I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
