C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
