I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
