We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
