She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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