And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
