i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
