Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
