Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
