Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
