definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
