We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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