i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
