We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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