know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
