A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
