hotel room ftw
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
