hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize